Day 23 - Ups and Downs

I don't remember my first roller coaster ride, but I do remember how I felt standing in line. Terrified. As we snaked our way through the long line my sister told me over and over that it was nothing to be scared of, but my knees trembled anyway. I could hear the click click click of the coaster climbing that first hill, tortuously slow. Like anyone needed more build-up to terror. When I got off I vowed never to go on one again.

When I finally grew to my current height of 5'6" I changed my mind and stood in line, knees shaking once again. To my utter shock and delight I found that I loved the whoosh of the wind going through my hair and the faster the coaster went the better. The more ups and downs, twists and turns the better. Going upside down was even better.

Now I don't know if I'll ever ride a coaster again, but for a long time I've still felt the ups and downs. It would start with an epidural and I would be up and feeling good. Sure that the pain, and the fear were almost done with me. Eventually I would crash down, down, down as the epidural wore off and the physical therapy that was like a work out became impossible to do until I could get the pain, and the fear under control.

I got to the Studio on Thursday morning feeling energized and ready to go. I was feeling so great and was happy when Veronica said she was going to up the tension on the springs so I could really get going. I admit it, I felt a little cocky, and I wasn't paying complete attention to what I was doing when I felt a muscle in my back buckle. It scared the crap out of me. It didn't hurt, but it was a twinge that usually foreshadowed a downward turn. I finished the class making sure to be careful and keep my movements smaller and more controlled, but still I was a little scared.
I felt well enough for the rest of the day, but I admit I benched, or rather couched myself. I took a preemptive Vicodin and laid my butt and lower back down on a heating pad. Today, I decided, would be a day of rest. I feel pretty good now, as I'm writing this, and don't plan on missing any pilates sessions, but I will be taking it slowly for a couple of days. I can say one thing for sure, I won't ever lose concentration again.

Ups and downs on a roller coaster - good. But for now, ups and downs - bad.