Day 19 - Fight the Fear

Last Friday I had a great Pilates class. I was able to do all of the exercise with little pain, except the good kind that lets you know that the muscles are working. It made for a wonderfully bright day and night.

The next day I woke up with a horrible pain in my, well in my butt. I couldn't tell if it originated in my back or not but the pain was sufficient to scare the hell out of myself. Since it was 6am, I just took a vicodin and a flexeril and went back to bed. When I woke up six hours later the pain was just as bad. Of course it was a Saturday so I couldn't call my Doc, and didn't want to bother anyone else with what might be nothing. On the plus side I could still walk up and down the stairs without a cane – something that I’ve been doing for about three weeks now – and without the pain radiating in any direction.

Fear kept me horizontal all day, wondering if yet again I had allowed myself to believe, to early, that my long journey with pain was over.

Sunday came and with it a new pain, this one in my lower back and very expected since I got my period. Nothing eight hundred milligrams of ibuprofen couldn’t handle. My butt pain was still there but less than the day before. I also noticed that it didn’t get better when I took my back pain meds so they were a little annoying.

I woke up this Monday morning and was thrilled to find that the butt pain was no more. My back pain from my period was also gone, thank god. So I will continue to fight the good fight against fear – of pain or anything else – and I’m confident that the pain I felt was from Pilates, not because of my back, but because I was working muscles that haven’t been worked in awhile. I’ll still check with Jack, the Owner of the Studio and a licensed Physical Therapist, to make sure that I don’t overdo anything.